News about the world: Off with his tache

Nine-day itch - Patrick Heery masquerades as a 'school caretaker'

Who sprouts hair only on their upper lip these days? Well, plenty of men this month, all growing moustaches to raise money for prostate cancer charities. Among them is Patrick Heery who will be charting the highs and socially awkward lows in these pages.

TUESDAY 9 NOVEMBER

I hate facial hair. I've never understood why anyone would grow a beard or moustache - I have never met a man who doesn't look better once clean shaven. When someone shaves off a beard they always look years younger, more human, just better.

“I've been told I look like a school caretaker, a football hooligan and a porn star”

I don' think I am beardist - well maybe a bit - but I've just never seen the point. I've certainly never tried to grow a beard or moustache myself. I'm not one of those men who has to shave every day and I've often thought I would struggle to grow anything resembling a decent beard. But why would I want to? I've been as bald as a coot for 15 years so if I could grow more hair I would want it on my head not my face.

But then along comes Movember - for the uninitiated, it's a worldwide fund-raising campaign for prostrate cancer charities, in which men grow moustaches in return for sponsorship. Even then, it's the sort of thing I could usually resist with ease but, when my son's teachers all said they were taking part, he really wanted me to do the same and, in a moment of weakness, I wilted.

We are now eight days in and it has got to the stage where it is clear something is going on. I no longer just look unshaven, there is a definite shape to things on my top lip. It leads to my first dilemma. I want to shout out to everyone I meet: "I know it looks awful, I'm not the sort of person who would grow one of these for fun - it's for charity."

Attaboy - actor Tom Selleck provides the blueprint

The worst thing is that at the moment, people aren't saying anything. They must see something is going on but they don't say: "Oh, are you growing a moustache?" Then at least I could say why. But at the moment everyone is being very polite and no-one is saying anything. And it drives me mad.

Thing is, when I started out I thought there would be moustaches all over the place, a brotherhood of fundraisers, all in it together, seeing who is making the most progress or looks silliest. Supportive glances across a meeting room, a common understanding. But no. I look round the BBC newsroom and mine is the only top lip with bristles on it.

I have to say, I want to shave it off. I want to shave it off so much. The razor is calling to me but there are more than three weeks to go. But I already can't stand it. It's just not me - I've been told I look like a school caretaker, a football hooligan and a porn star.

My wife hates it and I hate it. I am going to have to raise a lot of money to make this worthwhile. I initially thought £200 would be good but I would happily shave it off and stump up that sum myself. So maybe I've got to aim higher.

The only thing keeping me going - apart from the fact that it is for a cancer charity and we all have had lives touched by cancer and know what a ruthless killer it can be - is that my kids love it. They really, really love it.

So for now I'll keep going, trying to raise some cash, but I can't promise it'll make it to the end of November.

This article is from the BBC News website. � British Broadcasting Corporation, The BBC is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.